Backstory: I took a Sabbatical in the fall of 2023. This video goes into all the details of why I was taking it and what I hoped to gain from it. Of course, life served different circumstances and the sabbatical was perfect timing.
5 Major lessons from my sabbatical:
There's an inner knowing we all have if we slow down enough to listen (and with loving support from those who give us a nudge).
I knew the time was right. I knew I needed to step back completely from social media and wasn't in the place to offer my energy to others. Just 4 days into my sabbatical was the massacre in Israel (my birthplace, where I have tons of family/friends, and home in many ways). The war and all that's followed have asked so much of me and of my nervous system.
Btw, only other time I've pulled back from social and supporting clients since I started this business was in February of 2020. So when there's a calling to rest, lean into it as much as is doable. Your body knows. When it came to this war and Covid, I'm so glad I was focused more heavily on myself and my inner circle and wasn't swimming in the polarizing outer world.
Sometimes we learn the same lesson over and over… and over again.
We all do this. For me this one is realizing again and again how important it is to fil my cup beyond the minimum. Something about me: I tend towards lower energy, in general. I don't have the stamina or capacity some of my friends do and I've learned to accept that's part of who I am for a variety of reasons.
So when I fill my cup to 30%, it's feels SOO much better than where I was! It's like driving your car with the fuel light on and filling it ⅓ of the way. You're good for a bit, but then that darn light is on again!
My fuel light comes on more than I'd like, given how many times I’ve learned this lesson. I'm actually feeling it right now, but here's the best part of it: I really learned, during my sabbatical, how to pause, get right back to the gas station and stop driving around on empty.
That’s where #3-5 come in. Keep reading…
I learned what REST really is.
First let me say that I thought I was pretty good at resting. I've had many friends say some variation of “Deena, you're so good at self-care/listening to your needs" over the years. But my my sabbatical and all I was navigating taught me I was barely scratching the surface… and actually resting inefficiently.
Yes, I recognize “efficiency” and “rest” should't go in the same sentence but hear me out. I was multitasking my rest most of the time. What I realized is that deep rest is not reading a personal development book or listening to a podcast with to do's for improving my life.
It's definitely not scrolling social. Escaping or numbing behaviors are not restful. They serve a purpose and it's important to learn our patterns around them, but they aren't restful.
Here's what rest looked like for me: Laying on the grass in the sun (my doctor actually told me to use sun as my energy source: “be like a plant," she said), walking barefoot, slowly tending to my new vegetable garden, getting into nature, and taking baths. I also did Andrew Huberman's Non Sleep Deep Rest guided meditation often. Tip: Do it in advance of the time of day when you usually feel run-down.
And back to the efficiency thing: When you’re really resting (not zoning-out-on-the-couch-rest), your body gets the message and it’s quiet efficient!
I became ruthless with my decision-making.
As someone who waffles and can come down with a big case of the FOMO, I learned how to only say yes to things that were, as my wise friend Heather says, “A full-body YES!” These days that feels like a deeeeeeep inhale, followed by a gentle smile as my shoulders drop on the exhale. My body just relaxes into it completely. Then I know it's right.
If I found myself trying to weigh possibilities, consider different outcomes, and create a pros/cons list in my head about it, I learned it wasn't for me. The pros/cons list-making was already sapping my energy.
Being decisive or direct may feel foreign to you if you're used to accommodating others more than yourself or feeling the weight of “the shoulds.” People may be surprised and that's okay. Consider this: You're likely paving the way for others to consider their own needs in a new way. Oooh what a beautiful lesson for the next generation!
The basics really make a difference.
Listen, I've been in the wellness world for about 15 years now and I love it. I love learning about the body and being in conversation of what's optimal vs "normal, the fun bio-hacks, latest research, protocols that support the root cause, and holistic practices to implement, but these have nothing on THE BASICS.
When we think of the basics as extras, we make life harder. Silly, right? So many of us are more likely to spend our time, energy, or money on more wellness services/products/protocols than to stop looking at a screen before bed, eat meals and sleep at regular intervals, get into nature, or make sure we're communicating our feelings/needs. These are simple, but they are not mainstream.
Guess what? Mainstream is not sustainable. It's what gets us to depleted. The Basics are what we should always come back to and most of us will recalibrate fairly quickly (within a few weeks) if we lean into those.
So yeah… I ramped up a bit too quickly in January and February with all that stored up sabbatical energy in my tank. And now I'm leaning into self-compassion for this human experience of learning something more deeply each time. That's the thing-- each time you learn it, you're different. You're new. You have different life experiences and lessons to pull from, so it's really not the same each time.
Thankfully, since my body learned how much of an impact ruthless decision making, deep rest, and the basics have on my well-being, I'm leaning on those. And I'm here to keep reminding you of those because it's going to make everything in life, including food, feel better.
It's hard to have a positive relationship with food when you're depleted.
Anything having to do with family food during a time like this will feel like pushing a boulder up a hill. If you'd like someone to hold your hand through this process, I'm here to help you. Go ahead and schedule an Ask Me Anything session today or schedule a 20-minute consult for ongoing coaching. I have 3 spots available per season (see? I told you I'm protecting my energy!) for a coaching package.
Tell me in the comments: What really spoke to you here? What are you going to try on? And where can I help you more with this process?
