I recently said YES! to a 3-day cleanse, which turned into a 2.5 day cleanse for me. I ended in the afternoon on the 3rd day with zero guilt, disappointment in myself, or regret.

Doing a cleanse when you have a history of being on the diet cycle is a big deal, but your mind will trick you into thinking it’s not since you’ve been on a gazillion diets before and so many people you know casually start these every day. Two things about that:

You’re not just anyone. You are in the process of healing your relationship with food and that means you’ve gotta take a more conscious path here.
Diet culture has told you for years (decades?) that you should be making every effort to lose weight and/or “eat right.”

The cleanse is presented differently than a diet, isn’t it? Cleansing is an age-old practice and it’s really good for you! When I became a Health Coach, I saw this in all the Wellness Industry marketing copy. To be honest, I sold cleanses this way too. “It’s not about weight loss; it’s about wellness.”

A cleanse was a new way to channel my never-good-enoughness. I held on so tight to the idea that there must be a right way and I just hadn’t found it yet. I jumped right into every diet because I felt like I should. It felt like I was running away from the bad decisions I’d made and my inability to control my eating.

Each attempt was an escape rather than feeling pulled towards something inviting. You know the difference—- the full-body YES vs hesitation-filled anxiety and all the reasons you feel it’s not the right move, but you SHOULD go for it anyway.

The SHOULD is valuable information. It’s Step #1.

Step #2: Say a genuine “Thank you!” to your mind for bringing SHOULD to your attention. The SHOULD represents every rule, expert opinion, and past “failure” running through your mind.

Step #3: Pause. Your healing is found in the pause. We’re so used to rushing through this process and stuffing down questions that come up. These questions are not excuses— they are genuine inquiries, AKA your intuition. Remember, you can’t heal what you don’t see, so if you skip over this part, you’re giving messages to your wisdom/intuition/knowing that you don’t trust her. And if you don’t trust the messages from your body, you’re continually band-aiding, rather than healing.

Step #4: Move into your body. How does this feel in your body? Do you feel open, curious, excited (maybe a teeny bit nervous), and inviting? Do you feel tight, closed, anxious, and predicting failure? If tight, what feels tight? Where in your body is this showing up? Get to know this. Likely your body gives you similar signals with different experiences. As you get to know your patterns, deep trust is formed.

Honor these feelings, however way they are showing up. Remember: One is not better than the other. All feelings are valuable and you have full permission to feel the feelings. If you’re feeling open and excited, go with it! Invite in the experience and keep repeating these steps. If you're feeling tight and closed, dig deeper. Where is it coming from? Who/what is informing this experience? What part of your food story is coming up for you? What is your internal chatter?

Step 5: Breathe. What does your system need right now? What would nourish you right now? What is your next right action?

These steps work.

They become innate over time, as you move towards Food Freedom.

On Day 3, I was sipping the vegetable broth I’d just made. Each time I made a new batch, I strained it and just drank the broth (solid food was not part of the protocol). This time I paused. I felt a pull to eat some of the soft, creamy, broth-soaked veggies. Then I felt it: “I should finish out the day and keep my commitment.” There it was. SHOULD.

I tuned in. I moved through these steps. I honored why I felt I should stick with it—- all my baggage around not finishing things I start, my history of cheating on diets, and that everyone else seemed to be sticking with it. I questioned (and asked my body) if this felt like something worth finishing? What might I gain from finishing that I didn’t already experienced? Did it feel open and expansive to imagine eating? YES! Did I feel any sense of disappointment? None. So sat down, took a few deep breaths, made sure my body felt relaxed and ready for food, and let the food sit in my mouth for a few moments. I felt all the textures, tasted all the flavors, and that was a heavenly bowl of soup. Later, for dinner, I simply had another bowl of soup; not because I needed to restrict, but because it’s all my body wanted.

The promises and agreements I made with myself before saying YES:

I journaled and feel all the feelings that came up in the past when I took on any food system that had an official start date. It’s all part of my food story and I make sure to honor these parts regularly. Loving reminder: these don’t go away. The thoughts and feelings are still there, but just don’t carry the heaviness they once did.
I promised I would lead with self-compassion. I would be gentle with myself.
I promised myself to move through the cleanse with a sense of non-judgmental curiosity. What would it feel like? What would come up? What messages would my body give me?
I didn’t have any attachment to the outcome. Seriously. If I felt great afterward? Awesome. If not, also fine. It’s all information!
I gave myself full permission to end the cleanse when it felt right. And I would not beat myself up if I ate something off the cleanse. There’s always the Begin Again right there waiting for me.
I allowed myself the time and space to slow down, to be with the difficult physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings that would, undoubtedly, come up. How? By laying it all out with my husband beforehand. I took Saturday and Sunday morning to myself.
I took a work and social media break so I could connect with myself more than the outside world.

Working with my food story over the years led me to this point and, as hard as it was, it was magical. Yes, I did notice clearer skin, a flatter tummy, and better poops. I also had a raging headache, a coating on my tongue, low energy, and, at times, incredibly moody, as my husband will be the first to announce. These were the symptoms.

It really doesn’t matter if you ever do a cleanse, a fast, or any other dietary protocol every again. In fact, until you’ve really confronted your relationship with food, it’s probably not even worth it. 90% of the success of a protocol is what you do leading up to it, your mindset during it, and how you come off of it.

My real shift came in the journaling, the rest, the social media/technology break, and the loving kindles I gave myself.

The lasting impact 3 weeks later: A next-level deeper love and connection to food while, at the same time, a greater release of attachment to food.

There’s no right or wrong. Healing your relationship with food requires a deep knowledge of your uniqueness in this process. I’ll say this: If you feel pressure, contraction, closed, tight, anxious, and like you’re in over your head, making big changes to diet likely won’t lead you down the path you desire.

Now I’d love to hear from you. What’s one promise you can make to yourself when it comes to your relationship with food? How can you be more gentle with yourself and honor the steps when a SHOULD comes up? Leave a comment and let us know!