Are you just starting to wrap your head and heart around this being a new year and focusing on what you want out of 2021? I used to make all the resolutions and hit the ground running on January 1st, I stopped. I realized they really had nothing to do with me, my unique makeup, what I wanted to feel, and what would set me, personally, up for success.
Even though it’s already the new year, I’m taking my time settling into what I’d love to cultivate, knowing that the big intentions, words, and grand plans fizzle. How do you make plans and look ahead when life feels so uncertain? By connecting to how you want to feel.
The real path to meaningful transformation is by focusing on how you want to feel, not what you want to be, accomplish, or do.
I’ve learned that I can experience joy in the depths of grief. I can experience connection and community, even in isolation. I can feel empowered, even when surrounded by fear.
For over 35 years of my life, I focused on the external-- the stuff that happens to us, the fear, the anxiety, the unknown, the "how do I cope with this hard thing?" seemingly taking over my life. I distracted myself by forging ahead and doing.
The world we live in is so focused on productivity and success. For most, it translates to how many boxes you can check off on your list, so you can lay your head on the pillow at night feeling like you did well that day.
Super Woman and Super Mom usually refer to someone who produces a lot - and mostly for other people.
In 2020, we faced big lessons about uncertainty, grief, questioning the way we chose to live our lives for so long, and other biggies tied to values, priorities, and big life decisions.
Is this where I want to live?
Is my job fulfilling?
How do I want my kids to be educated?
What actually brings meaning and joy to my life?
How do I want to prioritize my physical and mental health?
Feeling so done with the loop of habits that don’t serve and wanting a new path.
So many of us realized our normal wasn’t normal.
If the normal isn’t normal, how do we shift things? Every one of these things comes down to a feeling. A feeling worth trusting, listing to, and honoring. Even difficult feelings like anger, frustration, and regret— they are all important messages. Thank yourself for these feelings so you can work with them and see more clearly what’s happening for you.
What do you want to FEEL in 2021? This basic question is the starting point for decision making. If you know how you want to feel, you know what to say yes to and what to say no to. You can bring this question in almost everything you do. And that is freedom.
How many times have you reached a finish line, a deadline, or a goal only to realize it didn’t feel as you’d hoped? Our culture focuses on just finishing the thing without any emphasis on what you actually want to feel.
Some examples of feelings you might want to cultivate this year (although the list is endless!):
Embodied
Wild
Adventurous
Brave
Hopeful
Focused
Powerful
Feminine
Bright
Grounded
Beautiful
Alive
Joyful
Light
Abundant
Warmth
Acceptance
Fluid
…
{Inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.}
Journal on this one.
What do you want to feel in 2021? And how can you bring these desired feelings into your day-to-day? This is what really makes life, doesn’t it? Feeling the way you want to feel? You have that choice at every turn.
