I’ve just turned 44 and I decided to make a list of some of my biggest life lessons to date. Comment or send me an email with your favorites.
And maybe give it a try too. Perhaps make a list like this in your journal, talk it out with your partner or a friend, bring the activity to a girls weekend, or write it in a letter to yourself to receive at your next bday! It feels so good to see how much you’ve learned and what is important to you today.
Healing is usually an ING, not an ED. For most of us, we are healing our relationships with things (food, money, intimacy, grief, learning, love, etc) or people (alive or dead). Life presents us with new ways to go deeper into that process and integrate in new ways all the time. It’s not a past-tense thing; its’s an ongoing thing.
But also, I love the word “integrate” over “heal” and learned this concept in The Presence Process by Michael Brown.
How we do one thing is how we do everything. We can learn so much about ourselves and our patterns! This may feel daunting at first, but really it’s just about having common threads. As we work with those threads, it all begins to feel better.
Lean into your shadows. We all have them and whether it’s your partner, or your kid, or an honest and loving friend who helps you see your stuff, it’s worth it.
Learning how to receive help is a skill most of us did not see modeled by women in our lives, yet it’s one of the most sustainable energies we can cultivate.
Asking for help is just as important. I love Kate Northrup’s guidance here (Book: Do Less) when she says, “My mantra for how to ask for help is: Early, often, and kindly.”
Hugging is so good for you! There’s actual science behind 20-second hugs and all the feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters that flow.
All feelings are valid. All feelings are valid. All feelings are valid.
Plant something. You can do it; I promise. I started a veggie garden in the fall (at age 43!) and it’s brought me so much joy.
Sunlight on your eyes first thing changes the game. Andrew Huberman has made this practice popular in the past few years and I’m so grateful. The sooner I get outside, the better I feel.
The body usually starts by communicating in whispers and gets progressively louder. It’s hard to hear those whispers when we’re running and doing all the time, so slooooow down. Your body will thank you.
We are cyclical beings. Just like animals and plants in the wild, we are natural beings with cycles and seasons. We are not meant to do life the same every day.
When you have a desire or a longing, listen to it!
When someone says something and you have a deep and grounding exhale, there’s truth there! Listen to it. Same goes for when you get the icks or feel your whole body contract. The body will tell you.
Welcome endings. We don’t need to fear them. Honoring culmination and, even inviting endings, is part of life.
Most of us feel better when we eat at regular intervals. The body loves routine and predictability.
Sleep is the foundation. Deep and restorative sleep supports every part of the body and is a really good place to start when anything feels off.
Having seasons when you take a break from consuming information is great. Let that wisdom integrate and spend more time with your inner wisdom. You’ve got a lot of it!
Give me a humid and balmy climate over a dry desert any day! My curls, my skin, and my energy just glow. Just keep the bugs away, please!
Making sound is so therapeutic. Whether you call it your voice or the throat chakra or anything else, using that part of your body is a wonderful practice in healing a relationship with food. Sing, chant, grunt, and hum.
If you’re “feeling lost,” you are very likely “found” in a new way. It’s your inner wisdom saying “the stuff that once felt good doesn’t anymore and that feels ungrounding.” You’re right on the precipice of truth. Lean into it.
Invest in old friendships. Don’t take for granted the history that’s there even if you feel like you wouldn’t choose these exact friends today.
Invest in new friendships that meet you where you are right now, in this incarnation of you. Meeting you as you are today and you being able to tell your story as you see it today is beautiful.
Tahini, cinnamon, chocolate, and coffee all go really well together!
Keep reading! Keep learning. Keep asking questions. We need critical thinkers and people willing to challenge their own beliefs now more than ever.
Let yourself notice the magic; that little nod from the universe, a spirit, energy, etc.
Get outside and look at the stars often!
You don’t have to get weighed at most doctor’s appointments. You can respectfully decline.
Learn about your body. Your body holds you every day and no one is more invested in your wellbeing than you are.
The majority of medical research is not done on women, especially pre-menopausal women. Find partners in your health that you trust and stay on top of the latest research.
Bring more ritual and sacredness into your life. Light candles, play music, sit in circle with others, aromatherapy, pull cards, and take baths. You don’t need any excuse or spa day for this— do it at home and throughout your days often.
If you feel like a dish could use more zing, add lemon juice or lemon zest to it.
Play!! We learn through play, just like our kids! We unlock parts of ourselves that we forgot were still there.
Keep pictures of yourself as a kid around— by your bathroom mirror, on your fridge, as a bookmark, etc. Honor that little one.
Your relationship with money probably has a lot of overlap to your relationship with food. Lean into that. Get curious about it.
Stable blood sugar is where it’s at. It supports mood, hormones, sleep, digestion, clarity, focus, patience, sex, energy, productivity, and just gets more important as we age.
Feelings are like waves. They come in, they peak, and they go out. Learning how to ride those waves creates calm, confidence, and ease in so many areas of life. Want more of this wisdom? Anita Johnston’s book, Eating in the Light of the Moon, is soul medicine on every level.
You probably don’t need more stuff. Think about the next decluttering project and take care of future-you by honoring all you do have.
You’re stronger than you know. A bestie told me this recently and it brought me to tears. We have these old stories of what we think strength is— it’s not just powering through. It’s having the courage to be who you are underneath all that conditioning. So I’ll say it again: You’re stronger than you know.
“Grief and joy are two sides of the same coin. If we repress one, we suppress the other.” That’s from Luminous Darkness, by Deborah Eden Tull.
Perimenopause is real and I’m deep-diving right now learning all about it so I can flow into this next phase of life with as much ease and joy as possible.
I really don’t like camping. I tried. It’s not for me. You go camping and I’ll stay in a nearby Airbnb and hang out with you until dark, k? Deal.
Finding the masculine structure within the feminine flow is usually a more sustainable and joyful way to do life.
Do more of what lights you up in front of your kid/s. Let them see what joy looks like and how important it is to you!
And one for good luck: Laugh often! Big, open mouth, deep belly, pee-in-your-pants laughter!!
Which were your favorites? Comment below!
