Well, it's certainly been a while. My last post was when Gideon and I drove cross-country from Western Massachusetts to our new life in Southern California... and that was almost 2 years ago. This post will is a high-level catch up and I'll be posting in more detail about the various experiences, realizations, challenges, questions, and general life stuff that's come up along the way.
In May, 2014 we moved from a hippy-ish liberal college town in Western Mass to a suburban apartment complex in San Diego County. I adored living in Northampton, MA for so many reasons, but two big factors of work and health weren't on my side there. Being far from a major city made it tough to have consistent work to support the lifestyle we wanted and I continued to have health struggles despite all of my efforts. What I knew was that every time we came to Southern California to visit Gideon's family, I felt better within 36 hours. The chronic stuff I was dealing with always got better when I got into this climate. Sometimes it takes big changes to really support your wellness. Of course the diet and lifestyle changes were crucial, but not enough. We made a big decision fast and planned our move. I still miss so much about the lifestyle in Northampton and was hopeful it could be a long-term home for us, but as I type this post on February 3 and I look out my window at the swaying palm trees and blue sky on this 67 degree winter day, I am thankful. The winter sunsets here are spectacular.
But, don't get me wrong- I definitely had some culture shock (do any women here have gray hair other than me?) those first few months and almost 2 years in, I don't feel like a Southern Californian. I find it's hard to know what to call home when I haven't lived in my hometown of Philly since I was 18, knew NYC would not be my long-term home even after 10 years living there, was hopeful Northampton MA would be, but it wasn't ideal.
What makes a home?
I think it's where you build your life and where you feel fulfilled most of the time. I think it's when you look around at what you have and feel warm and content. And knowing nothing is permanent and change is inspiring helps.
Those first few months I did Organizational Development and Training consulting developing a management training for a big NY-based company while working from home and getting to go swimming overlooking a canyon in our apartment complex. Gideon was working from home as well and we'd often go for a walk on the beach or get tacos in the evening. It felt like an extended vacation.
I had my third miscarriage in June, 2014. This third one was a doozy. Unlike the previous 2, I bounced back faster and was ready to try again sooner. Gideon started to question if we should continue going down this path. We discussed what life would look if we never became parents and I asked good friends who were parents questions like, "Is it really worth it?"
In July I started a full-time job doing HR & Team Member Development. The same week I started working, I found out I was pregnant... again. I was in Chicago on a business trip with my new job. I texted 2 dear friends after taking a pregnancy test in a conference room bathroom during a 5-minute break saying "Here we go again..."
And on March 29, 2015 at 7:51am I became a mom!
There's much I loved about being pregnant. Being in labor and giving birth was one of my most favorite life experiences to date. My postpartum period was/is much more challenging than I could have imagined.
No no, I am not skipping over all of this. Much more to come about my experiences with miscarriages, pregnancy after miscarriage, pregnancy in general, birth, postpartum and mommyhood in future posts.
I went back to work at the typical American absurdity of 3ish months postpartum and, from day 1, it was not good for me. I worked hard, tried and tried to figure out how to care for Zeke, myself and my work in an extremely demanding job. It wasn't working. As is the case for many times a job comes to an end, I am certain it was the best decision.
So, here we are. I spend my days mostly working from home in Encinitas, CA inspring meaningful change for people through Learning & Development strategies in the workplace and holisitic health and wellness for individuals and groups. I have the pleasure of seeing and nursing Zeke throughout the day while he is primarily with our god-send of a Nanny who he adores. It's fantastic to be talking about wellness again on a consistent basis.
I have clarity and goals I never had before and feel very optimistic for the life I am building and what the future holds... for the first time in maybe ever.
The past 2 years have taught me so much about taking care of oneself and I am beyond stoked to share some of what I've learned with you all over the coming weeks and months. Stay tuned for new group programs, coaching experiences, and lots of fun!